Before you go
No to both. You can listen for as long as you like, pass when asked, and use any first name. What is actually expected of you, which is almost nothing.
No to both. You can sit through an entire meeting without saying a word, and most people do for their first few. If you are asked whether you would like to share, I would rather just listen is a complete answer and a common one. First names are the custom, and the name does not have to be yours. Online, you can rename yourself and in most groups keep your camera off.
The picture people arrive with is being made to stand up in front of strangers and announce themselves. It stops a lot of people at the door, and it is not what happens.
Last updated: 23 September 2026.
Sharing is people taking turns, uninvited, to talk about their own drinking or using and how they are getting on with it. Nobody is called on like a register.
In some meetings the chair goes round the circle and each person speaks or says pass. In most, people raise a hand when they have something to say. You can pass every time, for as long as you like. Some people listen for months before they say anything and nobody finds it odd, because a good half of the room did the same. There is no test at the end.
Near the start, many groups ask whether anyone is at their first meeting or new to that group. It sounds like a spotlight and it is not one: the reason is so somebody can say hello to you afterwards and make sure you are not left standing by the urn on your own.
You can stay quiet through it. You can say a first name and stop there. If you do say something it does not have to be an introduction of any kind, and I am just here to listen is said in rooms across the country every night of the week.
No. Some members introduce themselves that way because the word does something for them. It is a custom, not a rule, and nobody is required to call themselves anything at all.
You are also not required to have decided anything about yourself before you arrive. Plenty of people are in the room precisely because they have not decided, and would like to listen to some people who have been round this before making up their mind.
No. First names are the custom, and the first name you offer can be any first name you like. Nobody asks for a surname and nothing is written down anywhere.
If somebody offers you their phone number afterwards, which happens a lot, you can take it or not take it and either is fine. If you would like the words you will hear explained before you go, chair, share, sponsor and the rest are in our glossary.
Easier again. You can rename yourself before you join, and most groups are relaxed about cameras staying off, particularly for newcomers. Arrive muted, stay muted.
If the chair welcomes new people, a wave or a word in the chat covers it, and saying nothing covers it too. Online meetings run at most hours of the day and night, so there is usually one you could sit quietly in tonight without leaving the house.
A little. SMART meetings are run by a trained facilitator as a structured discussion, so they feel more like a group conversation than a series of monologues. Even so, nobody is made to speak, and telling the facilitator at the start that you would rather listen is completely normal. What SMART Recovery is explains the format.
What to expect at your first meeting walks through the running order, then search what is near you or see what is on tonight.
If you would rather hear a voice first, the helplines on our support page are free, and answered by people who once sat silently through their own first meeting wondering when it would be their turn.
No. Sharing is optional every time. You can listen for as long as you like, and if you are asked directly, saying you would rather just listen is a complete and unremarkable answer.
No. Some members introduce themselves that way by custom, but nobody is required to call themselves anything, and you do not have to have decided anything about yourself to attend.
No. First names are the custom and the first name you give can be any name you like. Nobody asks for a surname or contact details, nothing is written down, and no register of who attended is kept anywhere.
No. Readings are done by volunteers who offered in advance. Nothing will be handed to you and you will not be asked to take part in any way.
In most groups, yes, and you can rename yourself and stay muted throughout. If new people are welcomed, a word in the chat is plenty, and saying nothing is fine too.
Usually someone will say hello, and you can keep it as short as you like. Being offered a phone number is common, and taking it is entirely your choice.