Question 1

My husband or wife is an alcoholic. What do I do?

Accepted Answer

Start with support for yourself, today. Al-Anon (0800 0086 811) is free and built for exactly this, and you do not need your partner to change first. You can also speak to your GP or a free carer service like We Are With You or Change Grow Live. You did not cause it and you are not alone.

Question 2

Should I leave my partner?

Accepted Answer

That is yours to decide, and no one can make the call for you. What helps is getting clear support and information first, rather than deciding alone in crisis. If their behaviour frightens or controls you, that is abuse, and the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) can help you plan safely, since leaving can be the most dangerous moment.

Question 3

Is it my fault?

Accepted Answer

No. You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. Addiction is an illness, and no amount of love or trying harder makes someone stop before they are ready.

Question 4

Am I enabling them?

Accepted Answer

Enabling is a pattern, not a character flaw, and spotting it does not mean you are to blame. It usually means doing things that soften the consequences. Adfam's guidance is to think through your limits, say them clearly, then follow through. Getting your own support makes this far easier.

When your partner is drinking or using.

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